The Immortals

Posted: March 9, 2012 in Movies
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Wow, The Immortals is possibly the absolute BEST FILM EVER. No, I am not bought by the director…..honest….

Well, if I truthfully meant that then I probably deserve to be slapped by a sardine wielding Zeus. I don’t even know where to begin with this one, I’ve seen a number of bad films in my time but my God, this one takes the cake. Let’s begin with the story line. The film takes place in the onset of a war between the god fearing Greeks and the rebellious titan worshippers. Here, King Hyperion (played by Mickey Rourke in possible his worst acting job ever) tries to find a magical enchanted bow which will allow him to release the titans, defeat the gods and take OVER THE WORLD!!!  MUHAHAHA…..sorry, couldn’t resist.

Theseus (played by Henry Cavill) is chosen by Zeus (Luke Evans) to fight Hyperion and his army of facially scarred and grotesque rather gladiator sized men. As the plot suggests, the movie is expected to be action packed, full of sword-wielding action. In this respect it does not disappoint. The film is also quite gory, full of blood splatter and brains being smashed in (always fun to watch). This, however, is not enough to save this film from the acting prowess of a one-year-old-baby.

The leading Lady, Phaedra (played by Freida Pinto) is a prophet with the ability to see into the future (wow, how original, as if every other film set in this era doesn’t have a sight-seer…).

Aside from the acting, the plot does have some questionable moments which will leave you thinking; ‘why did this happen in the first place!’ The main Villain is the ‘if you fail me, i’ll kill you’ type, which leaves me thinking; ‘WHY THE HELL DOES HE HAVE SO MANY SOLDIERS FOLLOWING HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!’

Character development is also a joke. Aside from Theseus and Phaedra, you couldn’t care less if any of the other characters die (and a lot of them do). The only way I can justify someone watching this film is if they are bored at home and have already seen all the other ancient Greek-era films out there.

Trailer –

Acting – 1/5

Plot – 2/5 (Greek Mythology has been overdone)

Enjoyability – 2/5

Overall – 1.5/5


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